life’s playing with me

so here it goes. He’s leaving.

Voilà, il s’en va.


He got a job. Great right? No. He’s leaving. He’s gonna be a marine for a year, on a EU mission. In Somalia. He’s leaving. Monday. Training for 6 months 500 km away from here. Coming back maybe every weekends. Then leaving for 6 months on a boat. He’s leaving.

Il a trouvé un boulot. Super? Non. Il va être dans la marine pendant un an. Une mission de l’UE. En Somalie. Il s’en va. Lundi. Entrainement pendant 6 mois à 500 km d’ici. Peut être de retour le weekend. Puis 6 mois sur un bateau. Il s’en va.

I came here for him. For us. We’ve been living together for a month. And he’s leaving. He’s leaving me alone here, in a country i don’t know, a language i don’t understand, with a job that stresses the hell out of me.

Je suis venue pour lui. Pour nous. On a vécu ensemble un mois. Et il s’en va. Il me laisse ici, dans ce pays que je ne connais pas, avec cette langue que je ne parle pas, un boulot qui me stress.

I’m being selfish. I know. It’s really good money and he’s broke. But OMG, am i not allowed to be mad and freaking frustrated? I am so mad at him for leaving, so mad at me for even coming here in the first place. So sad and disappointed. Here you go.  That’s me. Lonely, pensive and well, getting fat from comfort eating.

Je sais que je suis égoiste. C’est très bien payé et il n’a plus d’argent. Mais, pfff, j’ai le droit de devenir folle et frustrée nan? Je suis tellement folle de rage contre lui d’avoir accepté, contre moi d’être venue ici. Si triste et déçue. Voilà. C’est tout moi: seule, pensive, et…de plus en plus grosse à forme de me réfugier dans la bouffe.


oh, and ironicly enough it was our 2 , 5 years anniversary yesterday…

19 thoughts on “life’s playing with me

  1. I think you have every right to feel the way you do!! I am so very sorry that you have to go through this. I truly hope that you guys can figure it out and that you can figure out a way that will make you happy!!

    Please don’t hesitate to email me if you need to talk.


  2. Oh Mo! I’m so sorry to hear this! I’d be mad too. You have every right to be mad and angry, and frustrated. I wish I could say something more uplifiting! I’ll keep you in my thoughts. I really hope you guys can figure it out.

  3. Oh no! Situations like this one are so frustrating and inconvenient. But it sounds like he needs this job, even if it sucks for you. 😦 Sometimes situations just really don’t go the way you want them to. Hope you figure out whats best for you guys! xx

  4. Her name is Maria 🙂
    Oh no, sweetie. I totally understand you- and you have right to be a little selfish here. But aww, thats too sad, really !! But hopefully those months will pass quickly ! I’m telling you, I’ve already been in the us more than a year- and it has passed SO fast!
    cute photo too ^^ ❤

  5. Oh no! I’m so sorry to hear this 😦 I can only imagine how angry and sad this must make you feel. Sometimes things are just completely out of our hands, and we just have to accept it an be patient (very hard to do, I know!).

    sending you lots of love

  6. NOOOOO! Gosh, I would be angry too if I were you!! This is terrible, couldn’t he try to look for another job? I don’t think you’re being selfish at all, Mo…you have every right to feel the way you do….I hope you guys can come up with a compromise, my heart goes out to you dear, I really hope the best for you!!

  7. You did the right thing taking this job. This is and was an amazing opportunity. You’re on an adventure now, Mo. I’ll be there soon to go on it with you. Love you.

  8. Pour le moment, c’est ta colère qui parle et… c’est bien normal.
    Mais peut-être trouveras-tu d’ici quelques semaines la force d’apprécier et ensuite le plaisir d’être où tu es???

    Chaque étape de la vie apporte ses enseignements et ses contentements. Prends le temps….

  9. oh my goodness! well yes i think being upset and mad and sad and all of that is ok i mean thats what you are feeling. eventually you will accept and be ok with it since theres nohting to change this. but you should feel what you are feeling and let that out for a while. i think if one doesnt you build resentment and you have feelings bottled up that come out later. im so sorry that you have to go through this. i cant even begin to understand what you are going through! but i will send you tons of positive thoughts and energy!! ((hugs))

  10. Oh no, sweetie, I feel so sorry for you because of this. I can totally put myself in your shoes and I’d feel exactly the same way too. This is really a horrible situation. How does he feel about it? I think eventually as you get used to things being like that, it will be easier, but still it’s very sad for you. I can understand that you might feel very disappointed and like you’re going to be alone in Sweden. Please be strong, dear. I’ll be thinking about you.

  11. Ah je viens d’apprendre la nouvelle en lisant ton blog.
    Je suis super triste, il est vraiment nul ou il a rien compris ? (dsl si il lit ce poste mais c’est vrai quoi!!!) Il y a pas un autre moyen pour lui sinon de partir ???

    Même si tu te retrouves un peu seule, c’est l’occasion pour te faire toi même tes propres aventures. Et l’ambassadeur il a pas un fils lol ? joke! joke?:p

    Me *essaie de positiver la situation*

    Pfff jsuis énervée aussi !! Et jme sens un peu coupable de tavoir envoyé ce lien… MAIS ça reste une opportunité géniale pour toi, ta carrière et TON future !!

    Et être selfish c normal si on l’est pas, les autres vont pas l’être pr nous (like whaaat?) Enfin tu comprends!!

    Jt’embrasse et qd tu veux tchater je suis sur msn ou facebook 😉

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